Fun with Conan the Grammarian

Hi Conan,

I am really enjoying your podcast and will spread the word on Facebook!

Anyways (I threw that word in for you as I thought you’d love it, down here in Australia we just say ‘anyway’), I was reading the Scientific American article on agro-forestry and noticed the following line.

“Recognizing farmers’ property rights was equally crucial in Niger, according to Tony Rinaudo, an Australian missionary and development worker who was one of the original champions of FMNR.”

The apostrophe after farmers has me stumped. How does it work? I know farmer’s indicates ownership or is an abbreviation for ‘the farmer is’. But why does the apostrophe move if there are plural farmers? How do I remember the rule, do you have a verse or memory aid for us?

I just know I’m heading for a catastrophe if I don’t learn how to use the apostrophe!

Thanks for helping me write gooderer,

Eclipse

Dear Eclipse,

so glad you asked. Let’s break the issue down first:

If the item(s) in question belong to a singular subject, the apostrophe goes to the left of the “s,” like so:

The farmer’s radioactive beet won first prize at the county fair.

If the item(s) in question belong to more than one subject, the apostrophe goes to the right of the “s.”

Recognizing farmers’ property rights was equally crucial in Niger…

Simple enough, yes? But how to remember under pressure? There is an easy way to remember when to include the apostrophe after the “s” in a possessive situation.

An apostrophe that divides the “s” from the subject comes between the subject and its tribe. It is utterly alone, without connection to its fellows, in a state of abject existential despair, and therefore singular. But put that apostrophe to the right of the “s,” and the subject becomes plural. That apostrophe acts as a unifying force for good, a lasso, if you will, bringing the lonely subject into into the fold. With its inclusive little tail, the apostrophe herds all the subjects into a corral of camaraderie and compassion, forever obliterating the alienating influence of the…

Oh. Ahem. I think I might have gone a little off the beam there. But you get the idea.

Your ally in correctness,

Conan